I don’t want to be alone.

I find it interesting that since my father died 2 1/2 months ago, I find myself looking for that “right” song or book that explains how I have been feeling through my grief. And through my search, I can’t help but feel a bit silly when I search songs about dying on the internet. I may as well search “I want to spend the next 45 minutes crying. Have any ideas?”

I know that I am not the only one that does this as numerous websites abound with endless ways to happily make yourself sad. Why do we do this to ourselves?

There are several answers to this, I am sure, but this is mine. Human beings, as the fragile species as we are, simply do not want to be alone. We don’t want to be physically alone as is evident that we spend our entire lives searching for our soul mate and a very small portion of us find that person. Thank god I am part of this special group. Just thinking about wandering around life alone makes me nervous.

We hate being emotionally alone too. It makes us uneasy to think that we are the only person who has ever had these feelings and we feel the need to share and learn how others cope with these same feelings.

This human need is what creates writers. We search for these emotional connections through our writing. We validate our emotions on paper. If we are writing non-fiction, then our emotions are blaring straight out on paper for our readers to relate to either positively or negatively. If we are writing fiction, we have the ability to mask our emotions among shields of untruths.

Writing has many purposes, but as a writer, I use writing as emotional outlet. My goal is to hide that from my reader. That’s fiction for you, right?

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14 thoughts on “I don’t want to be alone.

  1. Writing can be very cathartic–I wrote and wrote after my mother passed, and (although I grimace now when I read what I wrote then), writing was a great way to deal with my walk through that life-altering experience. Just keep writing, Kimberly, and the more you do it, the better you’ll get. I bet your dad would be honored.

    Thanks for the follow.

    • Thanks so much for the great advice and the follow. I have always wanted to start writing publically and it seems that my father’s death has become a catalyst for it. I do write about my emotions as I get through this pain, but those writings I don’t share. Doing that helps me prepare to write my novel. I am a beginning fiction writer so I will definitely look forward to your posts on editing!

  2. Very sorry to hear about your loss. And I know what you mean about writing emotion. Some of my most emotionally charged journal entries are from the deaths of family members, and at the opposite end of the spectrum, the births of my children. (I too am one of the lucky few to find that special someone to share life with) Also, hidden within your post, I think there is a really interesting character with a captivating story readers can Identify with. Just a thought!

    • Thanks so much for the great reply and for your condolences. Emotion definitely helps drive writing. Hmm…thanks for your suggestion on the character, I will have to pursue that further! 🙂

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