I find it interesting that since my father died 2 1/2 months ago, I find myself looking for that “right” song or book that explains how I have been feeling through my grief. And through my search, I can’t help but feel a bit silly when I search songs about dying on the internet. I may as well search “I want to spend the next 45 minutes crying. Have any ideas?”
I know that I am not the only one that does this as numerous websites abound with endless ways to happily make yourself sad. Why do we do this to ourselves?
There are several answers to this, I am sure, but this is mine. Human beings, as the fragile species as we are, simply do not want to be alone. We don’t want to be physically alone as is evident that we spend our entire lives searching for our soul mate and a very small portion of us find that person. Thank god I am part of this special group. Just thinking about wandering around life alone makes me nervous.
We hate being emotionally alone too. It makes us uneasy to think that we are the only person who has ever had these feelings and we feel the need to share and learn how others cope with these same feelings.
This human need is what creates writers. We search for these emotional connections through our writing. We validate our emotions on paper. If we are writing non-fiction, then our emotions are blaring straight out on paper for our readers to relate to either positively or negatively. If we are writing fiction, we have the ability to mask our emotions among shields of untruths.
Writing has many purposes, but as a writer, I use writing as emotional outlet. My goal is to hide that from my reader. That’s fiction for you, right?